


Subsiding Storms

by starrylitme



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Dangan Ronpa IF, Despair, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Past Abuse, SHSL Rare Pair Week, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 07:52:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4617306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrylitme/pseuds/starrylitme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-IF verse.</p>
<p>In which Naegi of course worries about others, people who he should simply fear rather than fear for, and Ikusaba wonders about him, her sister, trust, and the many, many differences between the boy she's with who she loves and the sister she loved and, for the moment, left behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Subsiding Storms

**Author's Note:**

> This one's a little weird. I was really experimenting a lot and I never wrote Ikusaba even though I like her so...? It's been a while since I read DR:IF, too, but since RPW had the prompt for IF verse, I took it, even if I focused quite a bit on Mukuro's relationship with Junko since it's really significant in IF.
> 
> Honestly this week has a lot of "well I never wrote this pairing, nor even this character really, before so what if I try it now" with varying degrees of success. But, honestly, that's not so bad even when I completely overdo it.

When she had been younger, she remembered that Junko got hurt a lot. She’d trip or scrape her knees and she’d always be crying until Mukuro agreed to carry her. The second she had her sister scooped up, it was like a switch had been flipped because suddenly, Junko was giggling and chattering and swinging her legs the entire way.

Sometimes, she’d lean in to loudly whisper things into her ear—secrets about gossip that was just nonsense. But Mukuro still listened with a small smile even as Junko tossed not entirely subtle insults into her face with a laugh and a wide smile of her own.

She remembered liking to see Junko so happy when they were so close to one another—because when they weren’t so close together, and she was laughing and smiling at someone else, normally Matsuda, Mukuro had that sinking feeling of being nonexistent in her sister’s world at that moment.

Because Junko could separate herself from moments with her switches—like each thing was a moment of entertainment that could grow dull and tossed to the wayside to find something new. The Junko who wanted her sister to carry her was not always the Junko that giggled and girlishly flirted with Matsuda, and Mukuro could only do her best to keep up with each new Junko.

For as long as she had known Naegi, he had been a constant. He didn’t change like Junko, always smiling that same gentle smile. Even though that smile was for everyone, really, she had fallen for it all the same.

Now, that hasn’t changed. Those differences between the boy she loves and the sister she loved were stressed even now, with how she carried Naegi to make the trip easier, and how he kept quiet and rested against her while remaining still in her arms. At some points, he’d wake, and warmly smile up at her, and Mukuro would smile back, wishing her chest wouldn’t clench so hard.

She couldn’t keep up with Junko—but she liked to think she could support Naegi if nothing else. But still, Junko’s insults— _useless, disappointing, un **bear** able_—kept swirling around in her head like an unending sandstorm. She could only move on, hoping that at some point she’d grow so used to it that her eyes would stop stinging along with her skin stop feeling as though it were being rubbed raw.

* * *

Sometimes, Naegi asks about the other students he knew at Hope’s Peak. Names that Mukuro recognized were either dead or—from the class before them, the former the 77th class. Every one of the ones alive now members of SHSL Despair.

She too, wonders about them—about what they’re going to do if they’re ever encountered.

She half-wonders if Junko is going to contact them. She already pictures her sister throwing herself into the arms of a certain nurse and can’t help but shiver at the thought. After all, that ‘nurse’—well, she’s someone that Naegi, especially in his still sensitive condition, must certainly never come across. Really, he shouldn’t be near any of them. _But..._

“The guy before me... Komaeda-senpai...” Naegi fiddled with the strings of his hoodie. A clear sign of concern. Her heart ached at the sight. “What _happened_ to him? He was always talking about hope and this—despair happened... I’m sure he’s alive but... Did he also...?”

_Of course._

How could she expect anything else? How could Naegi, really? She confirmed it in her stillness and silence, hurting quietly more and more when she watched how Naegi faltered and understood.

“...Ikusaba-san... If it’s possible I...” Swallowing, he steeled himself, adjusting where he sat with a wince and Mukuro almost flinched even if she couldn’t fully understand. Just Naegi in pain—when she spent so long uninjured on the battlefield—felt like cold compensation for all those years. Especially with how he tried to save face, doing his best to keep his voice steady. “If we find them... We have to help them. We—as students of Hope’s Peak, we have to stick together in times like this. No, no, we should... We should save everyone we can. If it’s possible...”

_If we find them, there is little stopping most of them from immediately attacking._

Most likely going for their throats, like bloodthirsty maddened beasts with their claws bared, save for perhaps that Komaeda. But that was hardly a comforting thought if he somehow found his way to them first.

In the very least, she trusts herself—and she may trust the others as well, especially Oowada and Oogami—to protect Naegi and the others when that time came. But she wondered, almost hearing Junko laugh into her ear, if Naegi would really be alright with that.

_He’ll understand. He has to._

_But **will** he?_

“Nae...” She stopped, voice breaking into a croak when she realized. “...gi-kun... Oh, _Naegi-kun_.”

Naegi had fallen asleep propped against the wall. He had been tired a lot—all the traveling and sneaking around to make sure they were never caught must have taken a lot out of him. The very atmosphere was still heavy, still poisonous to breathe, and those gas masks they had could only do so much.

Naegi, for a while, had been struggling to keep his eyes open when Mukuro went to sit with him. He should have been resting but he had to ask because he was just so worried about _students that killed_ —

She’s not much better. She might even be worse. No, she is worse because _she had known all this time while_ **they** _..._

...Well. Naegi will understand when she finally explains it.

**_Won’t_ ** _he?_

* * *

She scouts the area on her own for the most part, but oftentimes Kirigiri comes with her to look for extra clues on whether there are others lurking about, and whether or not those people are dangerous. Normally, they just find people who are maddened by fear and barely respondent when Kirigiri tries to interrogate them.

Sometimes, the soldier part of Mukuro wonders if it’d be merciful to kill them in those states. But Kirigiri only sighs and softly offers help that goes ignored. It must be frustrating, but Kirigiri doesn’t let most emotions show. She only stands and confirms that there’s really not much they can do. It must be frustrating.

Mukuro already feels useless even though Kirigiri does thank her for her efforts as sincerely as she can show. And once deciding that it was safe to bring the others through, Kirigiri does turn to her for advice.

“Towa City is still quite far, isn’t it, Ikusaba-san?”

“It’ll most likely still be as dangerous as anywhere else, but—the air purifiers are still functioning as far as I know and SHSL Despair is not active there, as far as I am aware.”

But it’s only a matter of time before one of them stumbles across a member—and Mukuro has yet to come up with a full-proof method of subduing the ones she know will hold their own in a fight. Even the ones that won’t are going be...tricky. Sneaky. But as long as she can handle those tactics, she’s ensured success once she gets close enough.

“Ikusaba-san,” Kirigiri sounds conversational but there’s an underlying edge she picks up on. “You’ve let to fully describe who we are to expect when encountering a member of SHSL Despair. You said that many wear those Monokuma masks, but—you also said that the core members aren’t going to follow that uniform, chances are. You also said, peculiarly, that anyone we come across might be one of those core members disguised.”

“That’s their skill, Kirigiri-san. They can manipulate their appearance to resemble someone else.”

“Their skill.” She repeats, and then with a flip of her hair, she suggests, “Do you mean like a _talent_?”

Mukuro doesn’t answer. Kirigiri sighs.

“Naegi-kun is still the only one with his regained memories and yet... He has no clue, does he? You haven’t told him.”

“He wants to save them, Kirigiri-san.” Her mouth feels dry. “And I—I doubt that’s going to change once he’s realized what they’ve done. But I don’t... I don’t want him to...”

“You want to protect him. You always do, even when you had been disguised as Enoshima-san, I noticed the way you looked at him.” Mukuro rarely flinches in battle, at weapons or fists. But it’s always been painfully easy for her to flinch at words, especially courtesy of Junko.

_Junko-chan..._

She could still hear those insults, those words, until Kirigiri placed a hand on her shoulder and went on. “It’s important that, for when the situation inevitably occurs when we meet one of them, that Naegi-kun is privy to the truth. He won’t be able to help anyone if he doesn’t know, and that’ll surely upset him.”

_Ah, he’ll think I’m a disappointment too, then..._

“Ikusaba-san.” Kirigiri’s other gloved hand finds the other shoulder so that she’s squeezing both. “If we are to trust you, you can’t keep information like this to yourself. Not just from Naegi-kun but from anyone else.”

“I...understand.”

Though she really didn’t, because, after all... When was the _last_ time she had _truly_ trusted anyone outside of aide in battle?

...Junko. She trusted Junko.

She _did_ trust Naegi, at least.

* * *

“I think I’m getting better! Oogami-san had me do a few exercises to get back into shape—she made sure I didn’t hurt myself, don’t worry—and it doesn’t strain as much as it did before.” Naegi had his fists up and clenched, and the attempt at cheer and humor at the sight of her morose, depressing expression, was a painfully obvious one. One that soon fell to the wayside, with his arms falling back to his sides and he asked, worriedly. “What’s wrong, Ikusaba-san? You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you.”

_I can, can’t I? And you’re not like Junko, you’re not going to laugh or **use** that against me—_

And yet, she was shaking with her own laughter. Bitter and hurt. Naegi stared, wide-eyed and so, so, worried about her and she really couldn’t _believe_ it. The worst part was that she probably _sounded_ like Junko.

It hurt. It really, really hurt. And she always understood why her sister found such things _hilarious_.

“Ikusaba-san.” Naegi stands suddenly, taking her shoulders like Kirigiri had. But he’s much gentler, much more concerned and he’s really, really _, looking_ at her. Looking at her in a way no one had—not Junko, not anyone. And she was just...

_Pathetic, stupid, **ridiculous** —_

So _happy_.

**_You still don’t even know who Naegi-kun_ truly _likes and yet..._**

“Ikusaba-san, please.” Naegi was speaking to her like she was truly someone he cared for. And that made her so happy. And it still hurt so much.  Naegi’s grip on her tightened—but that didn’t hurt at all. “You have to tell me what’s wrong if...”

“Naegi-kun.”

He quiets immediately, but her eyes fall shut so she doesn’t have to see the face he makes. She’s already sure it’s going to look stricken.

“I’m happy you’re here.”

“I’m happy you’re here, too, Ikusaba-san.” She feels him shift, maybe to make his standing a bit easier, and once she really looks at him, she sees he has that warm, gentle smile on his face. Still tinged with worry—but still _Naegi-kun_. “That’s not all that’s on your mind, is it, Ikusaba-san?”

_How am I supposed to word all the things wrong with me? I don’t want to upset you. But Naegi-kun, you’re already upset, aren’t you? You’re worried about me. Somehow. For some reason—maybe you’re just that kind that you care for everyone, even a disappointment like me. After all..._

“It’s okay to tell me things; we’re friends, aren’t we?” Naegi’s smile is still sincere, in spite of being a little sad, and his head tilts to the side, staring up at her with those soft hazels that Junko would call boring, but she found comforting. Familiar. Nice.

Naegi’s always been too nice.

“Naegi-kun, I don’t want you to see any of our upperclassmen. Not the ones still alive. They’re—they’re dangerous. Unstable. Despair.” She sighs, heavily. “Every single one of them are SHSL Despair. Junko-chan... She has a strong hold on them. She could make them do anything. Even the ones that used to be friends with some of our classmates won’t hesitate to hurt us.”

Naegi’s smile completely falls. Bitterly, Mukuro adds.

“Komaeda-senpai is included. He’s no different from the rest of them, Naegi-kun. He will hurt you if he finds you. He doesn’t _care_.”

He pulls away from her and she shuts her eyes tightly before she hears his voice, resounding and determined.

“They still have their memories of being our friends though, right? Even if they’re—brainwashed—they’re still the _same_ people, aren’t they? There has to be a way to save them.”

_It’s so like him._ She already hears Junko laughing, high-pitched and screeching. _Isn’t he stupid?!_

“Ikusaba-san,” he said, quiet and making her perk up again. “I’m going to talk to the others—I’m sure they’ll help. Fujisaki-san will—Oogami-san, too—maybe even Kirigiri-san. She can come up with something...”

Before Mukuro has the chance to think, she’s already grabbed his arm, firm and unmoving. Naegi does wince, and that just hurts her more even if she refuses to relent.

_He’s too stupid to get it, Muku-nee. So stupid! No wonder he never even noticed you—_

“I-Ikusaba-san?” Naegi wondered, his eyes wide and then, that worry filters back into his tone. “Ikusaba-san, is...”

Her voice is so frightfully steady. “Naegi-kun.”

_He’ll never feel the same way! Never ever, ever! That’s why, nee-chan, you should just give it—_

“I believe in you.” Mukuro said, loosening her grip, voice going so soft she barely even heard it herself. But Naegi did, he perked up with recognition in his gaze. “If anyone can reach them, it’s going to be you. T-That’s just...”

Laughing. She’s laughing again, quiet and bitter but bittersweet, too, smiling desperately like the only thing she can do at this point is believe. “T-That’s just, how the Naegi-kun I adore _is_ —that’s just how you _are_.”

Naegi just takes her hands, bowing his head. “Ikusaba-san, thank you.”

She smiles, and it’s a surprisingly easy one.

“You know...” he goes on, cheeks tinting pink. “You’re always protecting me, aren’t you? You’ve save me countless times. I—You’re really inspiring, Ikusaba-san.”

Mukuro immediately freezes.

_You’re such a **disappointment** , Muku-nee._

_You’re really_ **inspiring** _, Ikusaba-san._

“I’m going to try and protect and save the others, too,” Naegi swears, matter-of-fact and determined. “It’s going to be rough, especially if their states are as bad as you say but... There has to be a way. I’ll always have hope that there is—and I’m going to find it. It’s going to be difficult, but with everyone else, I’m sure we can do it.”

“I’m sure you can,” she echoed, quiet with that smile tugging at her lips. “If it’s Naegi-kun...”

“Ikusaba-san, you’ve always done so much for me so—is it alright?” He was looking at her, pleading and believing in her, with hazels reflecting her. Seeing _her_ and no one else. “Is it okay if I rely on you for just a bit longer until I fully recover? That I keep asking for your help even afterwards? There are some things that only you can do, Ikusaba-san, and there’s no one else I’d rather trust.”

_...Junko-chan..._

**_You really had it all wrong._ **

“It’s okay. It’s _more_ than okay.” She was shaking, tears welling up in her eyes. “It’s okay, Naegi-kun, because—that you **_trust_** me—makes me the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m glad, I’m so _glad_ that you do.”

“Ah, Ikusaba-san!” Rather than happy, Naegi just sounded even more worried and frantic. “P-Please don’t cry!!”

With that grip on his arm, Mukuro yanks him close so that she can hug him tight, laughing and sniffling wretchedly into his hair, and shaking her head as he worried.

“It’s fine,” she insisted, hiccupping and holding him tighter. “I’m happy. I really, really am.”

Eventually, Naegi’s hands did tentatively press against her back, his voice a low murmur, “I really hope that’s true, Ikusaba-san.”

It _is_ —because even though she’s crying, she feels like she’s going to be fine. Holding Naegi and no longer holding back her tears, it’s like for the first time she can breathe. As though Naegi’s scent is the clear air she’d been secretly yearning for from being in that storm for so long.

It’s going to be fine. Once she’s done crying, she won’t be able to stop smiling and hoping for the best, she’s sure. Junko would be so sickened. But it’ll be fine.

Everything’s going to be just fine, as long she’s with him.


End file.
